It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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