break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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