if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
