the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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