you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
