they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
