he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
