He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
