i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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