hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
