rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
