Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
