Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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