You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
