I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
