i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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