Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
