your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
