Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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