I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
