she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
