that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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