Where is the hickey?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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