OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
