Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wear drunk well.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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