We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
