Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
