i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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