I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
