Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
