Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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