I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
