you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Michael Bay diarrhea
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
