her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
