***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
