What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
