I bet he comes in French.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
