you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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