Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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