I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
