D3 body, D1 cock
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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