i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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