I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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