Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
