It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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