Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
