chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
