He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
