worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
