Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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