So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
