I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
